Please Help us Figure It Out!?

My letter to Joshua Barre'

Dear Joshua,

I'm sorry I never got to know you, our only connection came through your mother's eyes. The weight of sorrow and pain held firm to her face but through her eyes I found you. Her eyes told me this tragic story of love that ended before it truly began.  Joshua your skin was never a sin, God's design of beauty is more than just within. Your black was and is beautiful, and your mental health status didn't make hate excusable. You were more than a soon to be forgotten hashtag; you were the embodiment of our potential both future and past.  You were love, you were loved, and now you are with Love. From your seat above I know you want us to trade our fear and pain for love, but it was hard seeing your blood. So many eyes that day traded tears for anger, it felt personal like you was no longer a stranger. Although you felt like my kin, I had to hold my peace and keep the pain within. And until today I have held it close, but now I'm giving up this ghost. I love you little brother, and I'm sorry the world never got to see your art. Your mother's eyes told me a story of how you were so smart, loving and had such a huge heart. We never spoke a word to each other but I know you well, and I will do all I can to never let the memory of your love fail. You will never be forgotten, and I will carry your memory with me. Rest in peace my brother and my friend I will see you again.

Sincerely,
Andru

7 Month Update!

Hello Everyone!

In May of 2017 Regina and I started the journey from Tulsa to the Portland Oregan area. It was very hectic pulling away from our community. However, we boarded a plane August 15th of 2017. Since then we have been on a path of discovery that has opened us up to both God and ourselves. We came with no home or jobs, only the hope that God will provide soon. The first thing God did was honor His promise by giving us a place to stay within days. With doors closed everyplace we visited, it felt hopeless.  Regina insisted God told her we were going to live in the first place had applied. So we showed up to their office on faith and moved in days later.

That kicked off this journey with a nervous jubilee, we knew God was for us, but we didn't know what was next. Naturally, we assumed employment next, and we felt great about with the prospects of finding work.  Regina had an excellent resume regarding working in the natural gas industry. My reputation as a Pastor and Police Chaplin carried over into our early Portland experience and felt like it was going to lead to employment. Regina and I emailed and met with people, but nothing panned out. Luckily we still had access to our retirement account and wasn't overly panicked about our bills. Every time we made a withdrawal we paid our tithes and budgeted every cent out. As mid-October approached  I asked Regina if she could do anything what would it be? She said she would braid hair and she would braid kids hair for free. So we launched 10:30 Braiding and Natural Hair Design.

Starting 10:30 Braiding pulled on us spiritually in a new and exciting way that we never experienced. We were still unsure of a lot of things, but this was one of the things that we felt came from God with clarity. The business wasn't apart of any of our original simulated budgets.  We had 4 different quarterly projected spending budgets based on the limited resource we had available. We set up those budgets in hopes we wouldn't have to use any of them. However, the seed God had planted in my wife from a young child was ready to bloom, and we stepped even further out on faith and poured several months of living expenses into buying equipment and supplies to start 10:30 Braiding. We set up our website and did some facebook adds and did the first two clients free to help spread the word. It has had its ups and downs but its given Regina greater direction and started us down a righteous path of following what God says in all areas.

As the business started, I began to get very nervous about how things were going to pan out financially. I knew we cut into our one resource pretty deep and was now looking at a get a job by April 1st deadline. That deadline was then pushed up even sooner after Regina lost both her Grandmothers and unexpected trips to Oklahoma was needed. But in the midst of my doubt and worry God was still providing, on the second trip, someone gave us 3,000 so that the whole family could make the trip. Although not the best case scenario for a trip back home we enjoyed what we could and was rejuvenated to get back on the grind. Although the grind was not producing steady income for either of us, we had to get back at it.

Since September I had been keeping busy attending classes at Open Signal media center in Portland. In early January I began a to volunteer my time with the media team for Priced Out The Documentary. None of this paid but it was sharpening my media skills and putting me in front of people again. One day I received an email that offered me money to moderate a Q&A of after a screening. Weeks later I accepted another offer to mediate, and as I was writing the invoice, I decided to officially start Seeing God's Beauty Media LLC (SGB Media). I filed the paperwork that day and now understand and believe God is going to honor His promise to do something new in our lives.

 Back in late November while fasting and praying God ask me the same question I asked my wife. If you could do anything at all what would you do? I told Him my list of media-related jobs, but then one thing I had hidden deep in my heart came to the surface. It was time to face the reality that I needed to continue being a Pastor and start a church according to God's plan.  Next was a clear almost audible voice unlike my own that told me to "go start my church." Out of a desire to not delay in my obedience, I started the scripture of the day that night and hadn't looked back. I was still looking for work; however, I shifted from the homeless service network to media marketing jobs. I met with a director of marketing for some advice on what to do next, and he told me that he could see me church planting more than doing marketing. He also advised me it would be worth starting my own media marketing company and getting independent contract work rather than work for someone else. Even with that great advise, I kept pursuing marketing jobs, but all doors remained closed.

So we became more aggressive about pursuing church planting and meeting with people that can help us launch. We started back home and recruited our old church home in hopes of getting both emotional and financial assistance. They agreed to do what they can and opened up a few doors that had been closed. We are very nervous about this but certain that its what God has commisioned us to do. We have had weeks of silence met with weeks full of meetings regarding the church plant. We are committed to only moving according to Gods plan on this church plant regardless of the timetable. The beautiful thing about us obeying God is that it has put us in a situation where we are in the community more often and doing more to carry out the gospel using our natural gifting. God is setting up something great that will allow us to have the income and resources needed not to be reliant on a church salary alone.

As Summer approaches we have spent all of our savings and retirement. Over the last two months, we have had to shift multiple bills onto credit cards. Although both businesses help keep us going, we are now facing our rent cost rising and other monthly cost-increases. At this point, we know we could have done somethings differently, but we are choosing His grace from this point forward. We know debt was never apart of the plan, but we here now and all we can do is fight back out of it. We will keep believing and thanking God for His provisions daily.