We still figuring things out?!

So I have not posted in some time and we have not done a show in some time and its all on me. I am learning new ideas and getting things together so we can have a well-produced show that can last. I miss it like crazy but I want it to be fun for Regina and I want the people watching us too be blessed and not just entertained. Also, we have been busy getting ready for Regina to launch her new career. 10:30 Braiding and Natural Hair Design is becoming a reality more and more every day. We turned our garage into a work area for the both of us. She can practice and do hair while I can study, edit film and photo or whatever.  We are also working on a website for the business www.1030braiding.com and ordered our first round of business cards.  Continue to pray for us as we continue to figure it out?!

T.H.U.G. L.I.F.E

I'm listening to the audiobook The Hate U Give,  and it is a great book. I have experienced a wide range of emotions from joy to flat-out anger. I haven't cried and laughed like this due to a book in a while. It's very thought-provoking and has me exploring some suppressed feeling when thinking about my relationship with law enforcement. It has also stimulated my desire to help my family let go of their legit fear of America's law enforcement. This is going to be a hard blog to write today; I may not stay on task, and yes it is influenced by this book but please journey with me...

I mentioned that I had suppressed feelings toward law enforcement. If we are honest, we all have them regardless of your race. As blacks, we are becoming more vocal out of the necessity to survive. "Our country" has used laws to suffocate us with oppression for so long that we have to fight just to breathe. As a whole our feelings are no longer suppressed, they have expanded to a loud, overwhelming cry of frustration that will wake the dead. Now that we all have cameras to document the hate we are given by "our country" a revolution of change should be sure to come. The days of being peacekeepers and are gone. We have graduated to a more biblical stance, and are choosing to be peacemakers. As peacekeepers, we just wanted our freedom back; we wanted to be 5/5 human in the eyes of "our country." But with freedom came knowledge and now we know we, like all of God's children, are made in His very image. And with the wisdom of our true identity, we also are realizing that blessed are the peacemakers for they are children of God. It's our natural stance as children of God to make peace in our country even if our county doesn't want to make peace with us. To make peace we will have to have conflict; we will have to shine the bright light of our future onto the darkness of our past and present. I believe that light does not war with darkness; complete darkness must flee in the presence of light. We will see a day that the love will conquer all hate in the hearts of man. We will have to stand up for love and have a conflict with hatred, just like light and darkness, hate cant drive out hate only Love can do that. I don't know the white experience in this country, but I do have knowledge of God's love, and I know it to be all-consuming. My hope as peacemakers and children of God that they too will forsake the comfortable roles of peacekeepers and stand up and fight for a day when they don't have to suppress their emotions. It pains all of us to see a life taken because it hurts God to see it. We cannot be desensitized to death and injustice in exchange for the comfort of the American dream of yesterday. We need to make America a pleasing aroma in Gods nostrils, not the great stench of death and pain it has been.

As a Black Man and as a Christian I have felt an overwhelming unnatural need to compromise the gospel for convenience. As a result, I now stand convicted with sorrow over opportunities missed and emotions suppressed.  By no means was I an "Uncle Tom for Jesus" but I walked the peacekeeper's path. I should have flipped over more tables; I should have had harder conversations with those that power the system and benefit from it. I don't believe anyone is born a racist and I could imagine its hard to look at life through someone else's experience. However, I should have invited more cops to see it from our perspective; I should have had more conflict in order to make more peace.
 My name will be linked with Joshua Barre more than the officers that shot him. The memory of confirming to his mother that her son is dead is still painful. Hate runs through society so to the point that no one recognized we lost something that was precious to God. The life of someone hurting and lost in mental illness was not mourned. Instead, it was suppressed into a category of justification. He wouldn't have died if he wasn't mentally ill or if he wasn't holding a knife or if he hadn't done whatever justifies a death for convenience. Joshua was just another black boy that couldn't get right; he didn't fit into the system for whatever reason now he is gone. The crowd yelled in unison F*$@ the Police, and I didn't blame them. I felt that way at the time, but I had to push that feeling down cause I had a gospel message to give. I'm sorry if that truth hurts anyone reading this but its the reality of being a man of God with a call but still being black here on earth. I was mad Joshua died, I thought of all of my homeless friends with mental health conditions (90% of them) and prayed Lord not them next. BUT WHY?! Why should I have to fear or mourn for any life because they are broken in the eyes of society? Why should have to tell a mother the life God put together in her whom is now gone? God gives gifts and man destroys them, and yet He keeps giving. I will never understand His ways, but I am grateful that He is an all-knowing God. That assurance is one that I have needed the most in times like these.

I'm raising two black boys into men in a world that may not say they fit in because of their skin or because of their culture. They have been given hate for who they are before discovering who they are. The book The Hate U Give credits a line from a Tupac interview where he explains T.H.UG. L.I.F.E. The Hate U Gave Little Infant's F's Everyone. This is a sad truth that the world needs to see.  My oldest son is an excellent example, he is a great person to know, he is smart and funny and loves with the love of God. But I fear society will stop and reject him at his blackness, a blackness that helped give him his strength, character, and humor. Unfortunately, the beauty of his culture and skin causes fear from a lack of understanding it. He will be invited to drop being black for other warmer tone general titles that will push him away from the image God formed him in. I pray he declines and stays aware of the gradual attempts to decolorize him to make other comfortable for a season. A kid told him that he was unapproachable and I knew why the kid said that. My son is smart and sure when he speaks on what he knows, he is a young man, and people are scared of that. He isn't a follower he doesn't smile because just because something is happening, but he has chosen to have joy, and his joy is shown in his actions, not false gestures. I get that, but I also get that most kids aren't that deep and the kid could have also said that cause unapproachable is typically code for "black-black." It has to be said twice cause the first black is what you're born into, cant change your skin color or birth certificate you are black. The second black explains a cultural thing, this means you are aware and you celebrate it. That means you say things like please don't touch my hair, yes my name is spelled different get over it, and no I'm not pretty or handsome for a black person I'm just a good looking person. The second black means you know you're worth, and you are not comfortable letting people be comfortable with systematic racism. My son is learning that he has a second black and I can image his I can't breathe t-shirt makes some people put him in the unapproachable category. The hate society has given caused that kid to miss out on knowing an excellent young man. But that's thug life for you. The other example of the hate given affecting my son is his unhealthy concern for police. He legit fears them riding behind us, the idea of being pulled over makes him panic. He has seen so many deaths on the news he views being pulled over as a leading cause of blacks death. Its right up there with diabetes, heart disease on his list. The hate given has caused him to not believe in the system because the system has proven it doesn't believe in him.

I'm starting to see more and more every day that God sent me to this community to be something more than I can imagine. The idea of being black-black and Christian isn't two separate things anymore. I use to feel I had to live in different worlds to be an evangelical. I'm talking the true meaning of the word, not the Americanised voter identity category known as the evangelicals. I believe spreading a true gospel message everywhere I go is being an evangelical. I mistook leaving behind a life of sin a for leaving behind my culture and in doing that I misdiagnosed my culture as being sinful. I accused black churches as not having enough teaching and too much praise. Now I see the truth that segregation has brought a lack into the whole church body. We need each other so we can learn to grow together in the Lord. I'm starting to get the more significant meaning of God sending us to the "whitest city in America." We can't effect change at a comfortable distance, we are here to get uncomfortably black-black and love the Lord with all of brothers and sister black, white yellow or brown.  Earlier I said I wish I had more chances to affect change in my past roles. I believe God brought me here to elevate me to a position where I will.  

This weeks show...

This week on our weekly Facebook Live we announced that we will be doing more recording for youtube and changing the Facebook Live to a weekly review. This will allow us to focus on getting the business going and getting ready for all God has for us. 

Tired?! ((Warning Angry Post))

Sometimes you just get tired of the same old thing happening day after day. At some point, things have to have an end. We walk through life dealing with one another and at some point life's path has to come to a conclusion. I sometimes wonder why are we even assigned to this journey in the first place? Why are we walking around inhabited by sin? I love earth, and I love the time I get to have here, but it seems that the people on this planet are not too happy with it. People wake up angry and live life angry. In fairness, the angry indictment is just my judgment. Some people can look mad like me and not be upset at all. Others act out angrily with a smile then say they are not angry. I don't entirely get it, and most of the time none of us really do but its life.

I was accused of being angry for years, it just became easier to accept everyone else's diagnosis behind my facial expressions. People never seemed to assume depression, or better yet maybe he is just in thought. It was always straight to angry because that was easier. Growing up I wish I was born smilier so that I could have gotten the benefit of dought when I made a mistake or lost my temperament as anyone else did. Instead, it was just confirmation that I was crazy or angry. Although I have gotten past some of these things, I still know I'm not allowed the full freedoms of being myself in public. I feel like I have to put on a Stepin Fetchit show and smile and tip my cap to people, so they are comfortable. I don't feel godly doing it I feel fake. I was made in His image, not the worlds view on black men. I AM NOT AN ANGRY BLACK MAN! (I understand writing that in all caps didn't help my case.) I'm a beautiful, STRONG black man. Yes, Beautiful, not good looking or handsome because those things fade, I am beautiful because that comes from within. And the greater that is within me is greater than anything in this world.

I challenge all that have told me that I was angry to explore did I change or did God shift your perspective of Him in me? I admit that I have matured in Christ and my temperament has improved with age. However, I was never that different than most, I just didn't get the same chance as most because of the outside. People see God in me, and that's the only thing that gives me an identity in this world. The people closest to me in life are not here because of my great personality or my dashing good looks they are here because they see God in me. Overall, I praise God for that, and I know that it's a good reason to stick with Him because on the other side of things its loneliness and depression.

I'm writing this from a place of just being tired emotionally and writing it out helps me place my guard down and focus back on Jesus. Without writing it out, I will take the emotions of prior hurts and pains and apply them to the present. I can't let my past choke out my future. I now realize that I was more hurt about life than angry, and now I'm growing into being my optimistic about life. As a result, I feel depression and pain lift off of me daily. I know real hurt, and I truly don't want to add any more back on my life. He who the Son set free is free indeed, and that includes me. I'm free and no longer excepting other peoples anger in any shape or fashion. I understand that if I want a life that is genuinely free I have to stay in sync with Jesus because he said in his word that "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." I want to do things that bring people joy, I understand that I will be rejected, but that's no different than Him. Jesus also said, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." I have been hated for all the wrong reasons for too long and now its to shift all of hurt and pain from rejection to the cross. I cant handle the anger and sickness that the world wants to put on me but Jesus can. I'm so glad I have a savior that will take it on, I'm so blessed that Jesus is built for this and all I have to do is stay here with Him.

As I journey through this day Lord, I pray that I do not stumble and fall to anger and pain. Lord, I pray that I overcome it and allow the words of my testimony to help someone else overcome it.  Lord, you are a great Father, and I love you for being a God that overcomes it all for your glory. Lord, I thank you for wrapping us up in your glory from one degree of glory to another you are good God!

Let There Be Light?!

In the beginning, God said let there be light, in fact, the bible says in Genesis 1:3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. 4 And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So the evening and the morning was the first day. In those verses, it's a simple command and responds, God said, and it was. He told the light to separate from darkness, and they haven't been together since. He created light to shine in its own time, and the darkness has its place too. I wish it were always that simple for us, God says be this way, and I'm just that way. He says stop this habit, and I separate right away. I guess that's the great thing about God and us being precious children to Him and not an element. He provides us with loving grace and mercy that endures throughout our journey with Him. He knows the beginning and end, yet He is still walking the journey with us. He is indeed a good father to us and truly worthy of all of our praise. The lights in the sky are witness to His goodness and His mercy. He lights our path day in the night with the commands of His word from the beginning. Before He formed man, He provided elements for our success. He approved them as good, and because of that approval, they are still in place. No other god can take credit for the beginning and the end and all the greatness that comes between. God truly is love, and His love is evident in rising of the sun and his numbering of the stars.

Jesus in Matthew 5:16 says Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. That verse makes me think that I have to model my life after the stars in the sky. On a daily basis, they show me that He is great when they shine because He said so. My Lord has spoken and has told me to let my light shine, and like the stars, I need to be consistent to show up. I may not feel like it or I may not think my light is bright enough but that didn't change the command to let my light shine. Science shows that the sun is a star no different than others star, other than planets are caught in its orbit. A star has no thoughts or feelings, but if it did, I'm sure it could get jealous of the stars that do have planets orbiting them. Having those planets could make it into a sun, which appears to be the more "important" star job to have. Unfortunately, we humans do have negative thoughts and emotions, and we get jealous or concerned about our purpose. We often see others letting their light shine and ministry orbiting around them, and we wonder when is our time coming. We begin to question is our light bright enough for God to use. We lose track of the source of our light, which is the Son. We forget that our light shines to bring glory to our father in heaven and not ourselves. I praise God cause His command is still valid to the sun, moon, and stars, "let there be light" still provides for me. Now the question is, does the command "let your light shine" still provoke me to provide my light to this hurt and dying world?  

 All stars have a purpose regardless if planets are circling them or not. Genesis 1:16-18 says, And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. 17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, 18 And to rule over the day and the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. This teaches me that even if I don't have a church or homeless mission and hundreds of men I still have a place to let my light shine, even if it's from a distance. A star billions of miles away still shines its light based off of Gods command, and it helps provide light to me in the darkest hours. I know that in this season that I miss preaching and one on one teaching that I still need to let my light shine. I have a dream to let my light shine before man through the gifts God gave me. I want God to get glory from my every move and living in the social media age its possible to try and do that on a bigger stage than before. I have caught a vision of what I want to do, and I need to cast the net out and believe that the fish will come in. Its God who knows the beginning and the end and it He who holds our very purpose. As I seek Him the light of truth will consume me and will shine from the inside out.

Real?!

This blog is about to get real! Ask you may know my wife Regina and I quit our job and moved our family to the Portland area because God said so. We tapped out our savings and our retirement and said hey if its God's will, its God's bill! It was all fun and games in the beginning, but now stuff is getting real. Coming here we gave ourselves a 6-month window to get jobs, but that plan has shifted.
Regina and I are going to give birth to a ministry that will bless young girls with free braids and natural hair designs. We will call it 10:30 Braids & Natural Hair Designs from the scripture Matthew 10:30. The scripture says "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered." Often little girls especially African American are told to adjust their hair as if God Himself didn't make that hair. They are forced to conform to modern trends that may say bleach it or burn it or relax it. Regina and I believe that all of us, are beautifully and wonderfully made by God. It's our take on Psalms 139:14 that says "I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well." Every little girl needs to know very well that she is beautiful and her beauty comes from a creator that loves her so much that He gave her every hair on her head. Don't you just love God? Thank you, Jesus, for loving me first!

But that's what makes this blog real today. January is approaching quickly, and I'm still seeking God on what is it that I'm supposed to do for work. I have no desire to go back into homeless ministry unless I'm using media talents and skills to serve. I do miss helping disciple men, and I do miss preaching. I miss it a lot but not enough to let it be a job that will take me away from the 10:30 ministry. I have no formal education or background that could land a high paying job in Portland, but I'm going to need one come January. I saw a homeless agency list a job similar to what I did in Tulsa, and they wanted a Masters degree. I couldn't imagine having a Masters and making $40,000 in this economy. That job should start at $80,000, but they figure if you want a job helping the homeless, you must do it for love and not the money.  I'm not scared cause I know God sent us here for a reason and the right door will open in the right season. Now I have a few more months to sharpen my skills with a camera and editing. 10:30 has all come from small seeds God has planted, and I have the opportunity to show I can brand and market it. Maybe that will be the resume booster I need to get into the new career field I want to be in. But it's really real now and somewhat scary to know I have to hustle or starve. My last sermon at NBCC Tulsa I read one of best friends lyrics not knowing how real they would feel to me today.


[Verse 1: Jito]
My back was backed all the way to the wall
And it felt like my foundation was cracked and I’d fall
When you’re faced with more questions than answers, it’s hard
They say that help is on the way, to just keep trusting in God
They said help was on the way but I saw nothing at all
So it was either have faith, wait, hustle, or starve
So I got my hustle on, thought I had my hustle strong
Got out there, got hustled, yeah I had my hustle wrong
And we was still hungry, still needed food to eat
Still dead broke, still one move from the streets
Still has access to the steel, I could steal and eat
But I refuse to steal from someone doing bad as me
So with the world on my back like Atlas
I realized that God’s in the lane waiting on that pass
See I tried my way like Usher
Nothing left to do but trust you, I’mma trust ya

My work!

Hey, guys this here are a few of the hair designs I have been working on! 

Invest in Love?!

I'm no biblical scholar, but I find myself inspired by how real and relevant the Word of God is in a modern context. I woke up this morning, and I had the parable of the talents on my mind. I was also thinking of overflowing level of hate that is swiping the hearts of men and women in our nation. The two didn't seem to match until I looked further at the parable of minas in Luke which mostly the same story. I have been putting thought to how we need to choose the side of love over hate in today's climate. But those of us that chose Love must know that we not in for a quick journey with instant results. It will be a labor intense path that's not for the lazy or weak.  God is at work, and He has given us a part to play. It is time to head into the field and put in work. It is not permissible in this time to mimic the mistakes of past generations. We are at a time I feel a more sincere harvest of followers is ready to be reaped. People that want to follow Jesus simply because He is good and worthy of it.

I grew up hearing that Jesus is coming back and that the world is going to end soon. To this day false prophets are still scaring God's children with claims of revelations that prove God is coming on a particular date. Completely ignoring that God's word says it will be like a thief in the night and you won't know when he is coming. People tend to gather signs and wonders and credit it as motivation to warn others to get right with God because He is coming back and you don't want to be left behind. I'm not saying that this is entirely wrong, but it is troublesome if just used as an evangelical scare tactic. As a child hearing this I always felt like you shouldn't just get saved from hell. It seems if your only motivation is avoiding hell than what does that say about God. It made me fear a dictator in the sky that created the worst place ever for me if I did wrong. It did motivate me to say I'll be saved with my mouth, but it wasn't in my heart.  As an adult, I have a more intimate relationship with God. I know Him to be real and not a scary old white man with a long white beard that will punish me. Now see the redemptive power of the cross, I know Jesus came to restore our broken relationship with the Father. I view myself as free to live with Jesus and free to allow him to live through me. I have the right motivation to be on this journey with God. I'm riding with God because He first loved me and I feel that love. I know hell is real, but since I have been able to feel His presence, hell has lost its sting and isn't an option for me. It was discipleship that saved me from hell, not fear.

We can't force people to love, I believe that love comes with its own convictions that compels us to love. Once we get love, it activates something that makes us want to model that same love to others. As we learn how to follow that conviction The Holy Spirit gives us to love we are going to make some mistakes. We have to get up, keep going and then help others do the same.  This can be the most laboring part of our walk with God but the most beneficial. We have a task to invest what love God has given us into this hurt and dying world. We as a people cant hide our giftings and experience with those who are in need. We have to help disciple as Jesus called us to do.

When I awoke this morning thinking about those parables, I realized  I don't want to be the one coming to my master upon His return with only what he gave me. I want to invest in the heart and soul that God gave me, into serving His people. I desire to let the love God be multiplied several folds into this world. I have buried his talent or manas for too long. God is good, and I need to go fouth and invest all he has done for me by answering my call to disciple.

The world we live in has a view of us as Jesus followers that it's very comfortable having. They think we are greedy, hateful bigots and judgmental. I have been in church most my life and sadly can't argue with those negative views. But I can say Jesus isn't nor has he ever been any of those things. Because of that, more than ever Jesus needs to be the standard of what we display.  I want to put him on display for all nations, starting here at home. For far too long believers have silenced the call to be a voice in social injustice. I'm free from racial and social inequality because who the Son sets free is free indeed. I believe that to be true, not easy. Racial injustice targets me often but no longer penetrates my soul because all is well in the innermost secret places I have hidden His word. I know I'm governed by love, and love alone has the power to drive out hate because God is Love.

God gave me a beautiful dark skin tone to be proud of, and the world gave me a system of oppression to overcome. I accept worlds challenge and will not only take my own victory but will lead others to other come by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony.

Here are the parables that motivated me to invest into love today:

Luke 19:11-27
11 While they were listening to this, he went on to tell them a parable, because he was near Jerusalem and the people thought that the kingdom of God was going to appear at once. 12 He said: “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return. 13 So he called ten of his servants and gave them ten minas.[a] ‘Put this money to work,’ he said, ‘until I come back.’
14 “But his subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’
15 “He was made king, however, and returned home. Then he sent for the servants to whom he had given the money, in order to find out what they had gained with it.
16 “The first one came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned ten more.’
17 “‘Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.’
18 “The second came and said, ‘Sir, your mina has earned five more.’
19 “His master answered, ‘You take charge of five cities.’
20 “Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. 21 I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow.’
22 “His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow? 23 Why then didn’t you put my money on deposit, so that when I came back, I could have collected it with interest?’
24 “Then he said to those standing by, ‘Take his mina away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas.’
25 “‘Sir,’ they said, ‘he already has ten!’
26 “He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 27 But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me.’”

Mathew 25:14-30
14 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. 15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey. 16 Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents. 17 And likewise he who had received two gained two more also. 18 But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord’s money. 19 After a long time the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them.
20 “So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, ‘Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.’ 21 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’ 22 He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’ 23 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
24 “Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’
26 “But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. 27 So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. 28 Therefore take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.
29 ‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. 30 And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Whats Going On?!

Who am I in the midst of all of this mess is a serious question most Christians will have to ask themselves every day.  I believe that the Spirit of God is prompting His people to move toward change. I honestly believe that God is fine-tuning the church to be a better reflection of His love. The church has been prostituted out to hate for far too long, and Jesus wants His bride back. He is not a God of divisive segregation, and those who are called by His name will have to reflect that. We have created our image of God that fit our own likeness and comfort. God is jealous for us, and he is not going to sit on the sideline and let hate win.

The saying that Sunday is the most segregated day of the week has been a reality we've excepted for far too long. The Holy Spirit is calling us to true unity in Him, but will we quench His beckoning or walk an uncomfortable path toward Him.  Dr. King preached powerful messages that taught us The Gospel of Jesus does not stand for hate and segregation in any form. The mainstream celebrates the amended softer versions of his sermons that speak to the idea of his dream. However, there were verses he used time and time again that proved his dream was birth out of the Gods desire for His will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

 Dr. King was killed for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in a way that made people uncomfortable. Only after his death, the nation feels comfortable acknowledging his efforts because his death neutralized the threat to American's comfort. Our country only feels bad that it looks bad for his death, but our actions show we are perfectly comfortable keeping him and his teaching in the grave.
 The consolation prize of having a "black" local street named MLK Blvd doesn't prove a town stands for equality. Killing the system of racism and oppression is the only thing that will reconcile us to God's will and one another in the process. Anything short of that will be a mask that hides the beast that drives us further apart from one another and the dream of true conciliation.

 My feelings today go beyond being black, its one that concerns me as a follower of Jesus Christ. People are choosing sides, and the cost of following Him starts with comfort in this world. We live in a nation that is only okay with the church preaching the truth as long as it's comfortable. That's not Jesus and no longer will it be His bride. Today we need to stand up and get uncomfortable and put our false ideas of Jesus to death. Being made in His image doesn't mean being made in the image of the social majority. We need to ask ourselves, am I ready to die for the gospel of Jesus Christ. If the answer is yes, then the bigger question is are we willing to live in the image of Jesus Christ.

His image goes beyond black white or any other social differences we may have. I love being black, and I owe no one an apology for it at all. If I did apologize for my blackness, I would be saying my God made a mistake, and that is not possible because He is perfect in every way.  I praise God for my beautiful black skin tone, my textured hair, my lips, the African roots that are found at the foundation of man and in the Bible. I love God the Father, I love Jesus and The Holy Spirit, God is where my love comes from, and it's from Him that I have joy in a time in which society is telling me I shouldn't be proud of who I am. Once again I feel the need to say thank you God for making me black but more important, thank you for creating me in your image.

Being created in Gods image has allowed me to take hatred for those that hated me and turned it into love.  I served as a Police Chaplin during a time when men like me are being killed on camera by a cop every single day. Those deaths grew a fiery rage in me that only God could regulate. I can't say God put it out for me because it still hurts and angers me to see black men taken out by those who are sworn to protect them.  It's a righteous indignation that no one called by His name can sit by and ignore. We are called to be a generation that will change things, and it's time to walk into our calling as a church. The thing I love about God is those that are scared to join the fight will be forced to adhere to the fight as love compelled them. It will be impossible to stay comfortable in the status quo and claim to be focused on Him, Jesus has a heart poured out on us laboring in the battle. If you want to see Him, you're going to have to see us in the fight and love will take it from there.

 I'm not looking to be the next Dr. King, but as Dr. King, I am looking to do God's will, and as Dr. King did, I am willing to die for it. I just hope that it doesn't have to come to that soon because I want to enjoy seeing His kingdom come and His will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.  

Fight?!

Here recently boxing has been getting a lot of negative attention for due to one over-hyped exhibition and another unjust decision in a legit match. They say any attention can be good for the boxing, but this just help affirms what the casual spectator of the sport knew. Boxing is dying and may be dead to coming generation of viewers. Boxing once represented the modern man's gladiator or warrior.  Fighters who once faced opponents in death matches and risk life and limb to bring us entertainment as well as glory and honor to his name.

In the modern context, this generation of boxers may be more interested in lining their pockets opposed having glory and honor attached to their name. If getting money is their number one goal then get the money it is. Our future generation has a different view on what brings glory and honor. Glory and honor are now measured internally and not on others opinions. My sons don't brag as much about who they are and what they have in comparison to others but based on their measure of significance. The goals they set for themselves are more important to them than a goal that's imposed on them. Which isn't that bad however it could leave them lacking a certain level of fight.

Every man at some point has a struggle for approval. The battle to be affirmed and have your efforts recognized is significant in developing a fighting character. Once you have fought that fight, you tend to have an admiration for a champion. Which makes it even more special to watch a sport like boxing and see the someone give their all to be crowned victorious. My fear as a father and as a man is that our next generation may not like boxing because they may not be able to identify with the fight it takes to be a champion.

A champion is someone that has proved that his internal resolve and measure is greater than everyone else's. A real champ starts with overcoming his own goals and then taking that preparation into battle against everyone else. If you know the only one that can beat you is you, then beating anyone else will be a foregone conclusion. But you still have to beat someone, you can't be victorious in your own mind and just leave it there. You need to overcome and win battles with others. In this, you grow stronger and become better.  As a father, you want your children to have a fight in them before they leave your home. You want their success in life to be a foregone conclusion as well. Life is going to hit them in the mouth, but it's great knowing that they are going to get up and knock it out in return.

I grew up loving to watch men beat the snot out of each other, it had its appeal at the time to my generation. But now I could imagine seeing former fighters with no motor skills and no money to show for it, must make it hard to sign up for something like boxing. Most champions of old days are all but forgotten, leaving glory and honor far from their names.  I guess that's why it pays only to try to bring glory and honor to the only name that will outlast all names; Jesus. As a father I want my sons to be fighters because our heavenly father is a fighter and we are made in His image. I want them to look like the mighty God that's always fighting for us, and His victory is too a foregone conclusion.

Today I reflected on who I am as a father and have I shown my kids that I am a champion for God's righteousness in my life. At first thought, I said no I have not shown them the best example but then God reminded me I'm a fighter. All I have to do is fight and fight some more, and He has the final say in this match. I worry if my kids don't have enough fight, and that's wrong, I need to make sure they have enough of the fighter in them. It's the greater in them, that will be greater than anything in the world according to His word.  It's like shadow boxing when you have God cause the enemy cant touch you. It isn't because the enemy isn't real, its cause Jesus fought the fight for you. It's like in the new Rocky movie Creed when Adonis is perfectly fighting Apollo's fight in front of the screen. He knew every move from when to duck down to when and how he jabbed. Creed was aware of those moves because he studied his fathers every move. God showed me all I have to do is study His every move when he was on the way to the cross. When to say nothing when falsely accused, when to sacrifice to show love, how to lay down my life for a friend. Jesus is my champion, and no one will ever take his crown or even contend for a shot at his belts. 

Was He Talking To Me?!

One month ago we placed our feet on PDX
carpet for the first time. 

Yesterday marked one month here in the Portland area. It wasn't greeted with a large celebration or much collective acknowledgment. We talked a little about it at dinner, but overall we found it to be an unworthy milestone to discuss. Not that God hasn't done the miraculous in our life. In one month we have met some great men and women of God. We found a home and got the boys into better schools than we expected. God just seems to have behind everything that we've done. From the gym to the restaurants we go to we are meeting real followers of Christ.

Last week Regina and I visited a hair school to look into her getting a license so she can start a natural hair shop here in the Portland area. The cost was around 16,000, and we qualified for a 1,700 pal grant and 12,000 in loans, the rest was to be paid out of our pocket. Now all of that and not even one week was going to be braiding and textured hair aka black hair. We ask about it, and she brought us to the perm specialist! Her idea of natural hair for black people was permed hair. As to say if it got texture straighten it out. Needless to say, we left feeling some kind of way, so Regina did the research and found an online braiding school. She was super excited, but I was concerned about the license. So I looked up the most basic search, and God showed up all in the results! Turns out NO license is needed to have a braiding shop in the state of Washington.

As I read the website and listen to the testimonies of the people that had sued their states before I was overjoyed at the successful outcomes. A woman and Seattle already won the right to braid here in Washington! You can't tell me God isn't ordering our steps! God placed us in a Portland suburb in Washington for a reason! The battle is already won! God gave her the vision, and we have prayed that doors open that should open, and doors close that should close. The door to go into debt for school just closed. She can take the online course and find a local small business class and be in business. With just finishing a business associate degree, I believe this can be the start of something big for us.

Last week I had an interview with a local Rescue Mission, and they were excited at the idea of me coming to work for them, but they didn't have any openings for me.  That's right they called me and interviewed me for no spot open. They felt maybe they could create something, but after meeting me a little closer, they aren't ready to start something that big yet. I'm ok with that choice because I do want something that will provide for the family while Regina is getting off the ground. Provide to me means not only financially but also to allow me time to be at home. We currently have no health care, and I want us to have that kind of thing covered. I'm going to wait on the Lord and not jump into something I shouldn't, but it is time for me to start the search.

First Day Open Signal Community Media Center

I've been taking classes teaching me how to use the public access studio in Portland, and it's been great. Its opened my eyes to see that I really want to work in media. I loved working with the homeless and never want to stop having a ministry that will help the homeless, but I personally want to be in front and behind a camera and microphone. I feel bad saying that cause it comes across vain to say I want to be in the spotlight, but it isn't me saying it. I repressed that desire for so long I don't think I would ever say those words on my own. I believe that its God is doing something new in me. I feel God has equipped me and will continue to give me the right words to say all in his timing. Being at that campus also reminds me I also could go back to school if I needed to.

"I personally want to be in front
and behind a camera and mic."

The rubber is really meeting the road in our life right now and we really gotta stick to our faith. Do I want a job? Yes. But I want and need to wait for the job God wants me to have.  Yesterday I told our youngest son that now is the time you make choices that will define you as a man. I was letting him know that if you lie you're called a lier if you steal you are a thief and if you follow Jesus you are seen as a man that loves. As I said to him what choices will you make today that will define you as a man, I could hear God saying those words to me. I was disappointed about not getting a job right away, I've been down on myself because of my weight gain, I was making bad choices that were leading me into depression. So I heard God say will you wait on me or will you make choices that will define you as just man. I want to be more than just a man surviving I want a supernatural lifestyle, and I want to earn it by faith not sight. I don't know how bills will get paid while starting a business but I will take the limits off and believe.  

Future Focused?!

It's fun to think about how God covers us in so many ways. His love for us is so large yet perfect in all of to the little details. I guess it's the small things that allow Him to be such a great God on such a big scale. Psalms 174:4 says "He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name." That kind of small detail should assure us as children of God that He has an intimate love for us. Surely we are more important than the stars, He knows and has accounted for them. In Matthew chapter 10 God affirms the point that we are valuable when saying "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.…" This should be a great source of encouragement "but flesh." That's the opposite of the cliche phrase "but God" most Christians say in testimonies. We know God is good, but our flesh stops us from remembering that He is personally great to us all the time. 

Our emotions don't always mix well with a sovereign God. He is going to cover us all the time regardless of us knowing that He is the one doing it for us. I'm writing this today so that I can stay focused on that very point. I can't worry about income and cost of walking into our new life. God called us here to the Portland area for the reason that He knows. He will provide and will provide in abundance. The struggle is not understanding this to be the truth but trusting the timing. The timing is the intimate details that make Him so beautiful. I have to believe the beauty in what God is doing with the timing. In this time while waiting on work to come, God, is preparing and strengthening us into something beautiful. Beauty deserves beauty, so I'm glad he is preparing us to walk into a beautiful future that I can be proud to be a part of. Our future won't look like a mismatch, we will look perfectly in place, but more importantly, we will be perfectly prepared. 

Looking forward was the instructions God gave us through scripture before we left Tulsa. Isaiah 43:18-19 says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."This scripture is encouraging in moments that we start to think about Tulsa. Not that we must abandon all affection we have for home but to stay more focused on the new thing God is doing. It is a seed planted within us, and like a beautiful glowing mother, we must carry this full term so that we can give birth to something new and beautiful. Just like pregnancy, we will have some morning sickness and maybe even a pre-eclampsia scare, but we know God will deliver. 

For me, I started to get a little down yesterday when I thought about the recent death of Shawn Birdo, a homeless man that was killed while sleeping on the side walk. I got to thinking of what I could have done too had stopped it or what I could have done to comfort those mourning his death. I also looked at the photos of the running team I started at the mission, and they are running with more men and doing great. Then I thought about the disaster relief team I serve with going to Houston without me to help with the Hurricane relief. God equipt me for such moments and here I am miles away unable to do nothing. When I see all of these things that God had me doing, I have to remember not to focus on the former things. God is doing some awesome things for us here and now. Furthermore, God is strengthening those we left behind. 

Being one, who was mainly an armor bearer, I understand and see that an armor bearer could handicap a leader opposed to helping them. I know I had to move aside to allow a new season to start at the mission and at my home church. I knew that season was coming and I knew I couldn't stay beyond my welcome. The last thing I wanted was to enter a place of complacency. If it's a new season for those ministries that must mean a new season for us as well. I'm glad God is giving me time to step aside and work on being closer to Regina. 

Living life with my wife every day at this level is new. Every husband should want a time like this, but it's not as romantic as it seemed it would be. It's also not as bad as some would say it could be. We fight a little about small things, but we have more time to talk. She reads more than I do so she knows how to fill her time. I'm assuming we only have a limited time together, so I hope we grow closer and really get to know each other. In my mind (which isn't always mature) if we walked around butt naked until the kids come home that would be great. But that's not realistic and also kinda gross when you think about it. I'm not trying to have company find body hairs on the loveseat. On the other token, I don't ever want to spend a whole day apart in the same room. I'm glad we share our time and thoughts to fill the gaps. If I could have any take away from this period, it would be stronger as a couple so we can be more powerful for the church. We want to be guiding lights that push marriage by example and not by our words alone. The thing that excites us the most about our future is what God is going to do with our union. 

We Did What?!

Often Regina and I share a moment when we realize that we packed up our family and moved 2,000 miles away from home. We loved Tulsa and Tulsa loved us back so it can be a struggle sometimes looking at a city we don't know. Imagine going days and never running into someone I don't know. Every day you have to introduce yourself and tell them you're new here.

I even miss the little things like "Doris" at the Walgreens. I put quotations cause we have no clue what her name is. But she was a main stay in our life. She was an older lady that rarely smiled, and often rushed you through the line mumbling "um huh" in her reply to have a good day. Because of her demeanor, we often made up stories about her going off on other customers. I still fill its a 50/50 chance she did some of the things we imagined.

Then there is Clarence! Clarence is a homeless man that I warn people about to this day. He is ill both mentally and physically, but he might be known as Tulsa's most famous homeless person right behind Brown Gravy. Clarence didn't like me, but he respected me when it counted. If I tried to get him to shower or change clothes, he would yell at me "get yo stuff and go head on."  However, when a tornado came along, Clarence always listened to me and got in the building if I told him too.

The homeless population and the cast of colorful characters that made up downtown and north Tulsa will be those I miss the most. They set the backdrop for our daily life. I knew all the people at my YMCA's, the running stores and even some of the food joints like Tropical Smoothie. We lived on Greenwood Ave! That is one of the most historic and significant neighborhoods in African American culture. Black Wall street was a place I got to call home, and I am extremely proud of it.

So being in the Portland area where there are no deep African American roots is a bit of a shock to my system. Growing up in Kansas City Mo African American culture helped structure the beginning phases of the city its self. BBQ and Jazz were done by all in Kansas City but well noted to had been perfected by the black folks in town. I was raised to be proud of my skin color and often told by community leaders to be black and proud. From 1991 to 1999 Kansas City had a black Mayor named Emanual Cleaver.  Seeing him in that position for so long made it the norm to see blacks in positions of authority. So moving to Tulsa was odd until I discovered the history of Black Wall Street and the Tulsa 1921 Race Riots.

Those Riots destroyed something beautiful and created a racial divide that still affects the Tulsa community to this day. However, my wife and her generation of North Tulsa natives are going to shake things up. I see leaders rising that will rebuild and re-educate that community. They have millionaire DNA, and it's at the core of who they are. Give it 20 years, and we will see the rise of Black Wall Street 2.0. Hopefully in a less hate filled society that will need to see North Tulsa and African Americans prosperous.

Seeing the positive direction that Tulsa is going makes our assignment here more challenging emotionally but does inspire us. Yes, Jesus sent us here, and yes He made us African American. We are Christians, we are Black, and we are very much proud of both and not ashamed to live both out loud. My wife has that Black Wall Street DNA and Jesus has given her the vision to have her a ministry and business that does natural hair! I get so excited knowing God has blessed her with a great plan for her life that will prosper her and not harm her. This gift will help spread gospel roots in a community that doesn't have time or space for Jesus and if we are honest blacks either. As a husband, this is all I have ever desired for my wife, that she has a purpose driven life that God has anointed with a cause. I'm truly blessed as a result of her obedience and love for God.

As for me, I'm going to meet with a local homeless shelter today to see about a job they are offering me. As the man of the house, I know God sent us here, and He didn't send us here to struggle, so I'm going to expect that on today I will be offered a job that will open up the doors for us to live abundantly. The idea of my wife being able to do what God called her to do exclusively excites me. I love what God is doing in our Life!


P.S.

I got this message and wanted to share it with you all. It inspired me to keep moving forward and be bold in knowing we are beautiful as we are and God used us before and he will do it again!

You Gon' Finish That?!

This blog title is more than a question a fat kid ask his buddy about the Cheetos dust on his index finger.  It's the broken record playing in the mind of people with ADD. People like my myself and pretty much everyone in my family. Each one of us shows it in our way, but attention deficit disorder has us in its grips.

Personally, I start a lot of things and find it very hard to finish them. I have just learned to work around this by surrounding myself with finishers. People that may not be self-motivators or stronger starters but people that can carry a vision across the line.  I'm known more as the transition guy, a connection man, or an idea guy but rarely the finisher. For example, I sat down to write this blog and uploaded We Gon' Figure It Out videos to Youtube before I finished this very sentence.  It's nothing short of a miracle that I forced myself back to this tab to get going again.

I bring this up not to complain but more or less voice a legit concern I have about myself. I know I have a story to tell, I know I can be a great leader, and I know I have the talent to produce a product that can help others. But I lack the focus to follow through and complete the task. Now, it's not all doom and gloom. Like I said I know how to work this to my advantage.

I lead by example, and I'm usually the first one out the gate saying hey come on out guys this is how we will do it.  One of the best examples of this was the John 3:16 Running team I started. I had to be one of the first and sometimes only runners, so I ran. I ran hard; I ran long, and I never gave up on the vision. I wanted running to be the tool that would change the lives of many in homelessness and addiction.  I started it, and I connected it to others in the community, and they are finishing it so that it's ingrained in the culture of the mission.  So I get it I don't always need to be the finisher, but in one area I am determined to finish what I started.

ADD has always kept me from being a prize student. Teachers always said I was wise or knowledgeable, but none of it never translated into a scholar.  My potential never became potency in the area of formal education. I struggle to study, so much so I have to read a sentence multiple time just to comprehend it in proper context. My mind tends to drift mid thought, and I start thinking about something the first few words may have triggered. As a result, I need silence or a melancholy beat or the white noise from a window fan that soothes my other senses.

Which brings me to my main point, I want to be a better blogger, vlogger, and a much better photographer. But I need the focus to study and practice my craft.  So I'm writing this unflattering blog about my biggest weakness because I love to lead from transparency. I believe that we grow and mature the more we are willing to ask for help overcoming our shortcomings. I want to be a consistent source of inspiration for all that follow my journey. I love self-help books, but autobiographies have changed my life.
I love relating to someone's pain and being encouraged seeing what God has already done for them. It reminds me that He is the same God for me that He was for them so I too can overcome.

I guess this blog entry is my way of giving you some insight into why I haven't started blogging more consistently or even produced video at the right quality. I'm not going to make a grand declaration to do better, but each post I make will keep me in motion toward becoming the man I need to be.  I love you and thank you for stopping by We Gon' Figure It Out?! 

On the way home for the first time!

We are on the flight and I still don’t feel as though we are really doing this. We are moving to Portland Oregon and we are totally depending on God to make it happen. It's been a little bit overwhelming at times but overall a very fun journey so far. The oddest thing has been the attention our move has gotten amongst those in our community. I didn't think our leap of faith warranted 2 news paper articles and a television news interview. Most people get a party and some cards and off you go, but not the Morgans. 

   

I think, for the most part, people are interested in our big move because it seems like something you'd read about in someone's success story. You can just imagine the person saying, "I just up and quit my job and dived all in and that's how this empire started." But since we live in a modern social media era you don't have to wait for the book because it's all real time and live in front of you. People want to have a someone to cheer on and inspire them and we are not the typical people that qualify for the drop everything and move package. We have kids and had great jobs that we loved. The drop everything package is typically for the restless 20 something with no wife and kids and a dream he has to get out. Honestly, it's not our nature to do this but from what we know about God, it's definitely God's nature, so we are down for the ride.

This new beginning is not just for Regina and me, it's big for all four of our children. 3 of the 4 got on a plane for the very first time today! During the take off the oldest grabbed my hand and squeezed it like she was a baby holding on to my finger for the first time. The youngest daughter hunched over Regina's shoulder and covered her eyes. Mean while our youngest boy was unphased and captured the take off experience on his phone. This was one of those boys will be boys and girls will be girls moments. Despite all the attitudes and acting grown, they are all still kids at heart. I like the fact that for the first time we are all kinda scared and grabbing on to Daddies' hand as a family.   

I feel I have to say thank you to everyone for all the support and interest in our journey. It would be unjust if I tried to name all of you that are praying for us and have been. I really can honestly say that we are not alone in this journey! We Love each and every one of you and I pray that we help build up the Kingdom of God in a manner that makes you all proud to serve the same God we serve. The newspaper stories and news clip on our move came as a total surprise but have already helped open up doors in Portland that I could not have opened. God is really up to something special! 

Saying goodbye is never easy, but when you are saying hello to something new, it makes it a lot easier. Our change deserves to be greeted with a smile; a smile that is hard to deny when thinking of the many possibilities that will have to graduate into potency. 

Sometimes, we can feel as if we have a very limited time to get it all done; only a limited time to pour it all out and leave it here. But remember, it's His kingdom come and His will that will be done while we are still here on Earth. He has our daily bread today. God will provide what's needed to do what is next.

 So the question of every day is, what's next? What will I smile at next? More importantly, will you be smiling with me too? 

Here are the links to the stories I spoke of in this blog entry:
https://www.readfrontier.org/stories/faith-tpd-chaplain-resigns-move-whitest-city-america/
http://www.tulsaworldtv.com/Tulsa-Police-Chaplain-Andru-Morgan-is-leaving-Tulsa-for-Portland-Or-32816767
http://ktul.com/news/local/beloved-community-leader-police-chaplain-looking-forward-to-new-adventure