COVID-19 Update

During this time, we are staying at home and trying to make the best out of it. Outside of opening up the pantry the four times a month that it's open, we stay at home. As a result of COVID-19, we had to close 10:30 Braiding, which is 1/3 of our income. But thank God we are still blessed! We have food on our table, and our bills paid, but most of all, we are in good health. 
The downside is our baby girl may not get the traditional graduation ceremony, and her senior year experience was taken from her. Sure there is a bright side to all of this and we will continue to find it. 

Speaking of that brighter side of things, with extra time come the chance to do extra show. So Regina and I did three episodes of We Gon' Figure It Out yesterday, and here you go:

Update!

Well, last week marked 2 years since that faithful plane ride home for the first time. Its also been over a year since we posted anything on this blog. So here we go this is going to be a super mega update to end all updates.
Year 2 was stable but still a rollercoaster at the same time. We had a lot of retests, so we knew how to handle it, but that didn't stop it from being crazy.  Let me start with our business, not personal but our actual companies. Both of us chose to start our own companies that have shown significant growth since the last blog post.
 10:30 Braiding and Natural Hair Design L.L.C. has a steady stream of clients that book a month out on average. The Naturally Beautiful Project now has a new logo designed by our oldest daughter (update on her later). We have also had two significant breakthroughs in the expansion of the Naturally Beautiful Project. Thanks to a very generous donation we now have a tee-shirt press to make N.B.P. shirts for fundraisers and for our clients to wear. Also, we are currently preparing a space for the Naturally Beautiful Project to expand into classroom space as well as a Portland location!
As for Seeing God's Beauty Media L.L.C., we are capturing the final footage of UnCaged a documentary chronicling my journey into black comic book characters. We are also proud to announce that we are finally in the preproduction stage of making a natural hair documentary. We have been delighted to do video work for an August Wilson Theater Project called Coped Out. It was a mix of the past work as a police Chaplin work and the newer media work. In the Podcast world Priced Out the Podcast finished up its second and maybe final season. We have recorded season three of Napkin Scribbles for Len Sweet and Portland Seminary. We also picked up a client at the top of 2019 called the SIT UP Podcast. Sit up is hosted by Leroy Barber, an influential man working in areas of social justice in the church. We have had fun flying throughout the country to do sitdown interviews with innovators and leaders of color. S.G.B. Media has also served as a consultant on several new podcasts. We are currently preparing to move into our new space in early October. Once set up in the new studio we launch a new podcast around LGBTQIA+ conversations related to religion as well as the relaunch 'This Life Matters' and 'We Gon' Figure It Out!?'.

Now a lot of this exciting news related to our business is connected to our roles as the co-pastors of Parkrose United Methodist Church. We set out to do work as church planters, and Leroy Barber and others with the United Methodist group ask us to take on the responsibility to Pastor Parkrose. After prayer, we knew God was opening the door, so we walked through it. A large part of our work is in the area of innovation and vitality. This means we get to use our hearts and minds to open up the doors to a church that was head to closing. This work has been challenging, and we promise to provide updates and maybe even a short documentary explaining the process we have been through.

So currently as it stands, we are working as Pastors of a church and operating our own business on a slightly reduced schedule. Our hustle may sound hard, but we still feel its more to come, and we plan to start a Tee-Shirt company in early 2020. We want to inspire our children to work for themselves and only take on partners and collaborators if they so chose. Speaking of our children here is a brief update on our family life.

Navon graduated Ft. Vancouver and gave a great speech at the graduation. After months of receiving around 14 acceptance letters, Navon landed on Reed College in Portland or The University of Washington in Seattle. After much prayer, he chose U.W. in Seattle. During graduation week Marshaun, Eric, little Eric, Edward, and the Girls all joined us.
We loved this because we four parents have done a lot to figure things out beyond our personal feelings and emotions, and that week was proof of it. Seeking all 5 of the kids together as a sibling group was heartwarming.

The big surprise was Edward asking Nylia (our oldest) to marry him. He pulled us aside and ask permission, and we gave a resounding yes. He is a delightful young man that we know genuinely loves our daughter, and that's all a parent can ask for.
As for Neairra, she had a brief scare with arthritis that hospitalized her, but she is recovering well and is headed into her senior year.
Braden is 12 and getting more into clothing design and even attended his first shoe forum an even a shoe design workshop class.
The adjustment to all of the recent change found us starting a new adventure as we marked out second-anniversary date. We started family therapy in hopes of dealing issues and staring healthy and connected.
 I hope to return to this blog in the coming weeks to share some more great news. Thank you for your support and love as we figure it out. 

Please Help us Figure It Out!?

My letter to Joshua Barre'

Dear Joshua,

I'm sorry I never got to know you, our only connection came through your mother's eyes. The weight of sorrow and pain held firm to her face but through her eyes I found you. Her eyes told me this tragic story of love that ended before it truly began.  Joshua your skin was never a sin, God's design of beauty is more than just within. Your black was and is beautiful, and your mental health status didn't make hate excusable. You were more than a soon to be forgotten hashtag; you were the embodiment of our potential both future and past.  You were love, you were loved, and now you are with Love. From your seat above I know you want us to trade our fear and pain for love, but it was hard seeing your blood. So many eyes that day traded tears for anger, it felt personal like you was no longer a stranger. Although you felt like my kin, I had to hold my peace and keep the pain within. And until today I have held it close, but now I'm giving up this ghost. I love you little brother, and I'm sorry the world never got to see your art. Your mother's eyes told me a story of how you were so smart, loving and had such a huge heart. We never spoke a word to each other but I know you well, and I will do all I can to never let the memory of your love fail. You will never be forgotten, and I will carry your memory with me. Rest in peace my brother and my friend I will see you again.

Sincerely,
Andru

7 Month Update!

Hello Everyone!

In May of 2017 Regina and I started the journey from Tulsa to the Portland Oregan area. It was very hectic pulling away from our community. However, we boarded a plane August 15th of 2017. Since then we have been on a path of discovery that has opened us up to both God and ourselves. We came with no home or jobs, only the hope that God will provide soon. The first thing God did was honor His promise by giving us a place to stay within days. With doors closed everyplace we visited, it felt hopeless.  Regina insisted God told her we were going to live in the first place had applied. So we showed up to their office on faith and moved in days later.

That kicked off this journey with a nervous jubilee, we knew God was for us, but we didn't know what was next. Naturally, we assumed employment next, and we felt great about with the prospects of finding work.  Regina had an excellent resume regarding working in the natural gas industry. My reputation as a Pastor and Police Chaplin carried over into our early Portland experience and felt like it was going to lead to employment. Regina and I emailed and met with people, but nothing panned out. Luckily we still had access to our retirement account and wasn't overly panicked about our bills. Every time we made a withdrawal we paid our tithes and budgeted every cent out. As mid-October approached  I asked Regina if she could do anything what would it be? She said she would braid hair and she would braid kids hair for free. So we launched 10:30 Braiding and Natural Hair Design.

Starting 10:30 Braiding pulled on us spiritually in a new and exciting way that we never experienced. We were still unsure of a lot of things, but this was one of the things that we felt came from God with clarity. The business wasn't apart of any of our original simulated budgets.  We had 4 different quarterly projected spending budgets based on the limited resource we had available. We set up those budgets in hopes we wouldn't have to use any of them. However, the seed God had planted in my wife from a young child was ready to bloom, and we stepped even further out on faith and poured several months of living expenses into buying equipment and supplies to start 10:30 Braiding. We set up our website and did some facebook adds and did the first two clients free to help spread the word. It has had its ups and downs but its given Regina greater direction and started us down a righteous path of following what God says in all areas.

As the business started, I began to get very nervous about how things were going to pan out financially. I knew we cut into our one resource pretty deep and was now looking at a get a job by April 1st deadline. That deadline was then pushed up even sooner after Regina lost both her Grandmothers and unexpected trips to Oklahoma was needed. But in the midst of my doubt and worry God was still providing, on the second trip, someone gave us 3,000 so that the whole family could make the trip. Although not the best case scenario for a trip back home we enjoyed what we could and was rejuvenated to get back on the grind. Although the grind was not producing steady income for either of us, we had to get back at it.

Since September I had been keeping busy attending classes at Open Signal media center in Portland. In early January I began a to volunteer my time with the media team for Priced Out The Documentary. None of this paid but it was sharpening my media skills and putting me in front of people again. One day I received an email that offered me money to moderate a Q&A of after a screening. Weeks later I accepted another offer to mediate, and as I was writing the invoice, I decided to officially start Seeing God's Beauty Media LLC (SGB Media). I filed the paperwork that day and now understand and believe God is going to honor His promise to do something new in our lives.

 Back in late November while fasting and praying God ask me the same question I asked my wife. If you could do anything at all what would you do? I told Him my list of media-related jobs, but then one thing I had hidden deep in my heart came to the surface. It was time to face the reality that I needed to continue being a Pastor and start a church according to God's plan.  Next was a clear almost audible voice unlike my own that told me to "go start my church." Out of a desire to not delay in my obedience, I started the scripture of the day that night and hadn't looked back. I was still looking for work; however, I shifted from the homeless service network to media marketing jobs. I met with a director of marketing for some advice on what to do next, and he told me that he could see me church planting more than doing marketing. He also advised me it would be worth starting my own media marketing company and getting independent contract work rather than work for someone else. Even with that great advise, I kept pursuing marketing jobs, but all doors remained closed.

So we became more aggressive about pursuing church planting and meeting with people that can help us launch. We started back home and recruited our old church home in hopes of getting both emotional and financial assistance. They agreed to do what they can and opened up a few doors that had been closed. We are very nervous about this but certain that its what God has commisioned us to do. We have had weeks of silence met with weeks full of meetings regarding the church plant. We are committed to only moving according to Gods plan on this church plant regardless of the timetable. The beautiful thing about us obeying God is that it has put us in a situation where we are in the community more often and doing more to carry out the gospel using our natural gifting. God is setting up something great that will allow us to have the income and resources needed not to be reliant on a church salary alone.

As Summer approaches we have spent all of our savings and retirement. Over the last two months, we have had to shift multiple bills onto credit cards. Although both businesses help keep us going, we are now facing our rent cost rising and other monthly cost-increases. At this point, we know we could have done somethings differently, but we are choosing His grace from this point forward. We know debt was never apart of the plan, but we here now and all we can do is fight back out of it. We will keep believing and thanking God for His provisions daily.  

We still figuring things out?!

So I have not posted in some time and we have not done a show in some time and its all on me. I am learning new ideas and getting things together so we can have a well-produced show that can last. I miss it like crazy but I want it to be fun for Regina and I want the people watching us too be blessed and not just entertained. Also, we have been busy getting ready for Regina to launch her new career. 10:30 Braiding and Natural Hair Design is becoming a reality more and more every day. We turned our garage into a work area for the both of us. She can practice and do hair while I can study, edit film and photo or whatever.  We are also working on a website for the business www.1030braiding.com and ordered our first round of business cards.  Continue to pray for us as we continue to figure it out?!

T.H.U.G. L.I.F.E

I'm listening to the audiobook The Hate U Give,  and it is a great book. I have experienced a wide range of emotions from joy to flat-out anger. I haven't cried and laughed like this due to a book in a while. It's very thought-provoking and has me exploring some suppressed feeling when thinking about my relationship with law enforcement. It has also stimulated my desire to help my family let go of their legit fear of America's law enforcement. This is going to be a hard blog to write today; I may not stay on task, and yes it is influenced by this book but please journey with me...

I mentioned that I had suppressed feelings toward law enforcement. If we are honest, we all have them regardless of your race. As blacks, we are becoming more vocal out of the necessity to survive. "Our country" has used laws to suffocate us with oppression for so long that we have to fight just to breathe. As a whole our feelings are no longer suppressed, they have expanded to a loud, overwhelming cry of frustration that will wake the dead. Now that we all have cameras to document the hate we are given by "our country" a revolution of change should be sure to come. The days of being peacekeepers and are gone. We have graduated to a more biblical stance, and are choosing to be peacemakers. As peacekeepers, we just wanted our freedom back; we wanted to be 5/5 human in the eyes of "our country." But with freedom came knowledge and now we know we, like all of God's children, are made in His very image. And with the wisdom of our true identity, we also are realizing that blessed are the peacemakers for they are children of God. It's our natural stance as children of God to make peace in our country even if our county doesn't want to make peace with us. To make peace we will have to have conflict; we will have to shine the bright light of our future onto the darkness of our past and present. I believe that light does not war with darkness; complete darkness must flee in the presence of light. We will see a day that the love will conquer all hate in the hearts of man. We will have to stand up for love and have a conflict with hatred, just like light and darkness, hate cant drive out hate only Love can do that. I don't know the white experience in this country, but I do have knowledge of God's love, and I know it to be all-consuming. My hope as peacemakers and children of God that they too will forsake the comfortable roles of peacekeepers and stand up and fight for a day when they don't have to suppress their emotions. It pains all of us to see a life taken because it hurts God to see it. We cannot be desensitized to death and injustice in exchange for the comfort of the American dream of yesterday. We need to make America a pleasing aroma in Gods nostrils, not the great stench of death and pain it has been.

As a Black Man and as a Christian I have felt an overwhelming unnatural need to compromise the gospel for convenience. As a result, I now stand convicted with sorrow over opportunities missed and emotions suppressed.  By no means was I an "Uncle Tom for Jesus" but I walked the peacekeeper's path. I should have flipped over more tables; I should have had harder conversations with those that power the system and benefit from it. I don't believe anyone is born a racist and I could imagine its hard to look at life through someone else's experience. However, I should have invited more cops to see it from our perspective; I should have had more conflict in order to make more peace.
 My name will be linked with Joshua Barre more than the officers that shot him. The memory of confirming to his mother that her son is dead is still painful. Hate runs through society so to the point that no one recognized we lost something that was precious to God. The life of someone hurting and lost in mental illness was not mourned. Instead, it was suppressed into a category of justification. He wouldn't have died if he wasn't mentally ill or if he wasn't holding a knife or if he hadn't done whatever justifies a death for convenience. Joshua was just another black boy that couldn't get right; he didn't fit into the system for whatever reason now he is gone. The crowd yelled in unison F*$@ the Police, and I didn't blame them. I felt that way at the time, but I had to push that feeling down cause I had a gospel message to give. I'm sorry if that truth hurts anyone reading this but its the reality of being a man of God with a call but still being black here on earth. I was mad Joshua died, I thought of all of my homeless friends with mental health conditions (90% of them) and prayed Lord not them next. BUT WHY?! Why should I have to fear or mourn for any life because they are broken in the eyes of society? Why should have to tell a mother the life God put together in her whom is now gone? God gives gifts and man destroys them, and yet He keeps giving. I will never understand His ways, but I am grateful that He is an all-knowing God. That assurance is one that I have needed the most in times like these.

I'm raising two black boys into men in a world that may not say they fit in because of their skin or because of their culture. They have been given hate for who they are before discovering who they are. The book The Hate U Give credits a line from a Tupac interview where he explains T.H.UG. L.I.F.E. The Hate U Gave Little Infant's F's Everyone. This is a sad truth that the world needs to see.  My oldest son is an excellent example, he is a great person to know, he is smart and funny and loves with the love of God. But I fear society will stop and reject him at his blackness, a blackness that helped give him his strength, character, and humor. Unfortunately, the beauty of his culture and skin causes fear from a lack of understanding it. He will be invited to drop being black for other warmer tone general titles that will push him away from the image God formed him in. I pray he declines and stays aware of the gradual attempts to decolorize him to make other comfortable for a season. A kid told him that he was unapproachable and I knew why the kid said that. My son is smart and sure when he speaks on what he knows, he is a young man, and people are scared of that. He isn't a follower he doesn't smile because just because something is happening, but he has chosen to have joy, and his joy is shown in his actions, not false gestures. I get that, but I also get that most kids aren't that deep and the kid could have also said that cause unapproachable is typically code for "black-black." It has to be said twice cause the first black is what you're born into, cant change your skin color or birth certificate you are black. The second black explains a cultural thing, this means you are aware and you celebrate it. That means you say things like please don't touch my hair, yes my name is spelled different get over it, and no I'm not pretty or handsome for a black person I'm just a good looking person. The second black means you know you're worth, and you are not comfortable letting people be comfortable with systematic racism. My son is learning that he has a second black and I can image his I can't breathe t-shirt makes some people put him in the unapproachable category. The hate society has given caused that kid to miss out on knowing an excellent young man. But that's thug life for you. The other example of the hate given affecting my son is his unhealthy concern for police. He legit fears them riding behind us, the idea of being pulled over makes him panic. He has seen so many deaths on the news he views being pulled over as a leading cause of blacks death. Its right up there with diabetes, heart disease on his list. The hate given has caused him to not believe in the system because the system has proven it doesn't believe in him.

I'm starting to see more and more every day that God sent me to this community to be something more than I can imagine. The idea of being black-black and Christian isn't two separate things anymore. I use to feel I had to live in different worlds to be an evangelical. I'm talking the true meaning of the word, not the Americanised voter identity category known as the evangelicals. I believe spreading a true gospel message everywhere I go is being an evangelical. I mistook leaving behind a life of sin a for leaving behind my culture and in doing that I misdiagnosed my culture as being sinful. I accused black churches as not having enough teaching and too much praise. Now I see the truth that segregation has brought a lack into the whole church body. We need each other so we can learn to grow together in the Lord. I'm starting to get the more significant meaning of God sending us to the "whitest city in America." We can't effect change at a comfortable distance, we are here to get uncomfortably black-black and love the Lord with all of brothers and sister black, white yellow or brown.  Earlier I said I wish I had more chances to affect change in my past roles. I believe God brought me here to elevate me to a position where I will.